Well the time has come for me to talk holiday talk now. But first a sandwich...
...Ham and cheese don't you know, I've used all the butter though, no seconds for me :-(
Right, holiday talk, yes. It's not that I don't want to write about it but I don't know where to start... maybe the beginning.
On the flight over we were made to fill in a health form, basically it asked for our name and then if we had swine flu. With a sneeze and a cough I ticked "no". More importantly than this we were also told that, while in turkey, we could not flush our toilet paper down the loo. This was devistating for me to hear. It makes the usually enjoyable task of emptying yourself something not to look forward to. I don't think I got over this till I got home the week after. But let's not focus on the trivial difference of cultural bowel movements.
Stepping of the plane must be one of the best feelings when going on holiday. That smack of warm air that hits your face as you step off the plane or out of the airport, even in the middle of the night, a reminder that you are indeed a long way from home, 1723.95 miles away from home infact, in Marmaris, in Western Turkey. Rachel and I had decided to dip into our savings and splash out on an all inclusive holiday for ourselves. Good choice!
After a deeply confusing two hour bus journey to our hotel we were shown to our room. Second floor, by the stairs with a view from the balcony of someones back garden and some magnificant mountains. We slept. Till breakfast. Which was a nice spread of eggs, toast, ham and cereal.
We spent most days by the pool, listening to the suprisingly large amount of Northeners that we were sharing a hotel with. Mainly Geordies, to Rachel's delight. There was even a tiny little Geordie girl with the best kid's accent I've ever heard! I loved the pool, it was a lovely cold break from the mid 40 degree C temperatures. We booked a couple of excursions but one was on our last day and one was moved to our penultimate day so we had all week to do what we like. We told our rep we wanted to go to the Turkish Delight factory, so she called them. The next day they sent out a car to pick us up and take us to the factory. The boss man showed us around very heistilly and then pointed us in the direction of the shop. It was basically a large kitchen with big vats of ingredients. We bought our mums some delight, got confused for Russians and got back in the car that brought us there. The driver took us to the top of the town for a picture stop and then back to the hotel. We tipped him well, he deserved it! Back to the pool we went.
The meals were good, hardly any part of the day had us left hungry. Let me give you the low down on what was available; 7 till 10 (I think) was breakfast; 12 till 2 was lunch; 3 till 4 was "Snacks", basically a BBQ; 5 till 6 there were some cakes on offer and from 7 was dinner. Perfect!
We went down to the beach for lunch one day and had turkish kebabs, another day we took a taxi boat over to Iclemer, a smaller, quieter version of Marmaris. We had been warned of the locals, apparently they like to hassle, and we did get hassled, especially at the market but they weren't too pushy, acknowlage them and be polite and they don't mind, ignor them and they get a bit shitty but so would I, you get used to it after a while.
Now, the trips! The first one we did was the best day by far. We were plonked in the back of an open top Land Rover and driven up a hill side road, meeting up with 8 other Land Rovers and the entrance to a dirt track that, rather steeply, dissapeared up a hill. We were driven to the top of the hills that surround Marmaris and form the most of the south coast of Turkey. We enjoyed amazing views and some great off roading, nothing too bottom-bashing but enough to blow my hat off. Our driver was brilliant, we stopped off at one point and he took out a knife, cut some tree off and atatched it to the car, making a lot of dust to coat the car behind, he also had a melon in his bag that he sliced up and handed to us on another stop. We left the jeeps to board a boat, which took us to a crystal clear cove that we jumped into and climbed out of to a lovely lunch cooked on the boat. We were then taken to Cleopatra Island where we were shown some amazing ruins and a small sandy beach that we were not alowed on. Apparently they closed it after people nicked the sand. Weirdos. There was a complex pair of jettys that gave us access to the turquoise water. After drying off in the Sun we were taken back to the main land and eventually our hotel, just in time for dinner! What a day!
Our last day was a "departure day". Rather than hanging around our hotel with our suitcases all day we decided to go on a trip. A coach picked us up and stupid o'clock in the morning and took us on an hour and a half journey to our hotel for the evening, a lovely little villa in the middle of nowhere. We were then taken to a taxi boat that took us down the stream to some mud pools, Rachel was really looking forward to this, it's supposed to take ten years off you, which would make Rachel look ten. Worrying! We got there and got into the mud pool, we were only given one hour, pretty strict which wasn't great, but we cover eachother in mud anyway. I didn't like it, it felt horrible but I resisted getting out. We stood in the Sun till it dried, and hurt, then we showered it off. We then took a dip in the sulphor pool, which stank of egg and was a.... warm.... 30 odd degrees. It was too warm for me and I had to jump out. I took a shower and got dressed. After lunch we were taken, by boat, past ancient rock tombs carved out by slaves, onwards to turtle beach. This beach was huge, and burning hot on the feet. It hurt. The beach was closed every night at 9pm to allow sea turtles to come onto the beach, lay eggs and then eventually these eggs will hatch and tiny little turtles will wiggle their way to the waters. We didn't see any turtles.
After a few hours of napping at our hotel we were picked up by mini-bus and taken to the airport. We shopped a bit and then realised our plane was delayed by over an hour. What a suprise. We slept. it was 2am and we'd had a very long day. Although the benches in the Dalaman airport seemed to be designed to be as uncomfortable as possible. They were horrible! We persevered and it wasn't long till we were boarding our plane home. We learned that the delay was caused by a faulty nose wheel. Nice to know, and surely they can't only have ONE plane for this flight!? Madness!
Dad picked us up, which was very nice of him at about 5 in the morning, especially as he headed straight off to work after dropping us home. We slept on the way home, then we slept all day. There was a lot of sleep :-D
But what a great holiday. We met some great people, namely the bar men from our hotel who worked 12 hour days and were friendly for all of them. We took a picture with them and they asked to be e-mailed it. I sent it to them and they replied. Such nice people! I also made a massive discovery on that holiday. Without a beard I look about 10. I am indeed Samson. I think I'll discuss my beard's demise and reformation to power in another post as this one has gone on long enough. If you want to see pictures take a look at my Facebook. I can't get the hang of pictures on here, they tend to end up cut in half.

Me and Rachel and our Barmen.
Well done for getting this far if you have! I know reading holiday stories is like sitting through a slide show of boring pictures without the pictures but I'm sure some one would have enjoyed this. And I'm sure I've forgotten something, many things, and I'm more sure that Rachel will tell me but for now that's it.
Thanks people, I'll update again soon, I have a few things to moan about :-D
Now, on to do my coursework.... Oh hello PS3, is that Call of Duty 4 you have there? Ohh.......!
Si.
(Please ignor the crap spelling in this post, I'm too lazy to spell check)